2011

As usual, I start something and don't follow through. So it is with this blog.

This year has been eventful for us. A year ago we found out that we were expecting and in September, Ella Pearl joined us the day before her big sister's 6th birthday.

Jumping from 2 to 3 kids has been a challenge, especially for mom. Ella, who looks just like her big brother, has had the same tummy trouble he has had. Too soon, this will be a distant memory. The siblings, however, are adjusting well and continue to thrive.

Lola started Kindergarten at Bixby and loves it. Zane is continuing preschool at our church.

We are closing this week on 240 acres in Creek County and plan on building a house out there--hopefully moving in the next year or so. Of course, first we will have to find time to pick out or design a house, etc.

Starting a farm business is a new proposition for us, but Tiffany and I both have some agricultural background. Our biggest problem right now is coming up with a name for the place. I'm sure it will come in time.

Vacation Planning

So we're planning a vacation for spring break this year. I am an utter workaholic who doesn't take much time off. It's not that I don't enjoy vacations, it's just that it's hard to find good help--that is, someone who is as obsessive and detail oriented as me and also does what I do. And when I do find someone, it costs a lot of money to have them cover--you don't even want to know how much.

It is, I fear, necessary to get over it (the fear I think). Things will continue to trudge along without me. On the flip side, what is more important than being present for the life that's going on around me--to smell the roses, so to speak.

Thus, I am committing to at least three weeks of vacation with my family this year. We are currently in the midst of planning our first outing--Disney World.

We went to Disneyland in 2008 when Lola was about to turn 4 and Zane was a baby. We went to Disney World a few years ago when Lola was about the age that Zane is now. She loved it both times--we all loved it. This time we're going for spring break with my parents.

It's a delight to watch Lola look through the guidebook and circle the things she wants to do while we're there (long list) and the things she does not want to do (short list). Her mind is sharp and she doesn't try to edit herself--she is a carefree child. She hasn't been taught that she is bad or that her thoughts are unacceptable.

That's part of what I try to attain on a daily basis. I've pretty much 'mastered' most of the grown up stuff, except for getting in touch with my inner child. I don't mean to be critical, just that I want to do that more because it's very rewarding and, in my opinion, what life is really about. There's a reason Jesus said to let the little kids go to him.

Since March is still 2 months away, we will have plenty of time to plan and obsess and hope and anticipate. I plan to be in the present for as much of that as I can.

And then, we will start planning for Hawaii :)

Peace!

Perfectionism and Procrastination

The Perfectionism-Procrastination Connection

Here is an excellent lesson that I haven't quite learned.

I'm absolutely a perfectionist. Anything I do, from brushing my teeth, to recording music, to blogging, has to be perfect. If I can't dedicate the time to make it perfect, I put off doing it.

Hence, my perfectionism feeds procrastination. My mind just doesn't want to accept that I'm not perfect.

Unfortunately, as a human being, that's exactly what I am--imperfect--or, more precisely--perfectly imperfect. In order for me to accomplish anything, I just have to do it and accept that it's not going to be perfect. For this I often use a maxim I heard a few years ago, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing imperfectly".

Mindfulness and Dishes
So, I haven't put anything on this blog in about a year. That's pretty typical. I think I have to have something profound to say. And it certainly seems better to share important things, compared to just trivial day to day thoughts.

In actuality, though, it's the little things throughout the day and in life that bring the most rewards. It's not if I performed a procedure perfectly, but if I took the time to play with my kids and read to them.

Or even doing the dishes--I've found that everyday tasks that I used to consider mundane can actually be freeing if I approach them from a mindfulness perspective.

I've found another exercise that helps me with this problem of procrastination--practicing mindfulness during mundane tasks.

Part of it is the ritual, and being present for it mentally. Rather than rushing through the dishes, thinking about what I'm going to do next, I've started using as an opportunity for mindfulness. Now I focus on the physical and sensory experience of doing the dishes. Sounds very unglamorous, but when I pay attention to how the running water sounds, how the scrubber feels in my hand scrubbing the dishes.

At the end of the task, I am rewarded by the sight of a clean sink, which also underscores some important principals. First, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step and, second, slow and steady wins the race. By focusing on one object at a time, I am participating in action, but also being a part of it in the present.

This makes the otherwise boring and slow process and turns it into progress. My steady effort brings my reality from a dirty sink filled with soiled dishes to a clean sink, dishes done. I can actually see my actions brings order to chaos. I can use this example in other, more complex or intangible tasks in my life--like dealing with emotional baggage or a big project at work.

A real herculean fight against entropy, I know. Perhaps next I'll just tackle the garage.

Why This

I'm starting this blog to pass along things to my children that I've learned. I hope that they can find some use in my life experiences that, if heeded, may make their road easier.

I have two wonderful children, Lola and Zane. Both fill me with great joy and it is my utmost privilege to be a present and active caregiver to them.

Of all the things I've found out in life, follow your heart probably sums most of them up best.

We are constantly handed rules and instructions for how to live our lives. This can be trivial or significant aspect of our lives. It can come from people--loved ones, friends, enemies, strangers, celebrities, politicians and leaders. It can come from media--television, radio, internet, books, magazines, etc. It can also come from society and its institutions--government, school, churches, organizations, corporations.

All of the information that we receive can be difficult to understand and overwhelming. Much of it contradicts itself or other things that we value. This can lead to a log of confusion, especially when we are told things that go against our upbringing or what we've learned somewhere else--school, church, home, etc.

I've found that listening to my heart can guide me better than most other things. However, I've also found that my mind can trick me into thinking that things are coming from my heart. So, it's helpful to have someone to bounce ideas off as a sort of check and balance.